Life
as a spouse to a soldier
 Transcript
of Mme Dallaire's speech at the Launch of the Invisible Ribbon
Campaign 2005 Thanks
very much for this opportunity to speak to you today.
It is
wonderful to see this very special and unique ribbon being
recognized for what it is: the expression of loyalty and commitment
of those in the invisible uniform supporting the operational
effectiveness of the Canadian Armed Forces through spouse
and family presence and efforts.
As requested,
and very humbly, I would like to provide some insights into
the life I and my family have lived with my military husband.
I believe
it essential to bring to your attention firstly the fact that
the 25 years of military life was much divided into two very
separate periods. The first during cold war or up to 1989,
and the second period being since then up to today and what
looks like for some time to come.
The cold
war time was mostly a period of relative simplicity and low
stress. We spouses held the fort during those short and longer,
never more that a few months, exercises which they conducted
here and there, mostly in Canada.
There
were also times when they left for courses and taskings as
well, on relatively rare occasions, a six month tour in Cyprus.
There were more people in the forces and there seemed to be
more money available to support the families such as free
school material and the like.
There
was of course, for those in the Army and Air Force, the opportunity
to serve in Germany for three to five years and that was always
seen as a very positive plumb for those who were lucky enough
to go. It was something you hoped for and that in itself was
always nice to think about.
There
were a lot of family moves during that period and so we far
too often found ourselves up-routed to another place in Canada,
meaning in most cases that that summer, there was no vacation
to speak of as closing down and opening up homes was very
tiring, time consuming, hard on the nerves and particularly
hard on the kids, which means harder on our nerves.
But generally
speaking it was soldering in a peacetime atmosphere and things
were generally planned out
But with
the end of the cold war, meaning from about 1990, the situation
took a very different turn and the life for a spouse and a
family of a military member became far more complex, stressful
and demanding on all concerned.
The military
in this country went from a state of training for war, to
an operation state of being in wars. It went from being a
relatively garrison bound Army, to continuously operationally
deployed contingent.
The time
spent at home became much rarer and more the exception than
the norm. Added to that is the fact that the deployments were
in very dangerous parts of the world, in far off lands that
we had often never heard much about.
Add to
the elimination of the Germany postings and a massive and
long periods of budget cuts, and one can readily see that
the pressures were mounting in the families as they tried
to cope.
One cannot
forget that it was also in the 90’s that the salaries
and the cost of living went way out of whack and as such we
regularly saw military members taking on second jobs to meet
the end of month bill payments.
The numerous
deployments in high risk areas provided some extra money but
that came at a very dear cost in family quality of like. The
risk of injury and even worse were more than evident as we
listened and watched the missions on the radio and TV.
As my
mother said when Romeo came back from the year in Africa,
she would have never survived WW2 if she would have had to
live the missions on a daily basis as we did in our homes.
The stresses and fears were with us all the time as we expected
the next newscast to tell us the worse.
The military
structures were at that time totally inadequate in meeting
the needs of spouses and families of an army in war and conflict
zones. It had been a peacetime military and as such had lost
contact with the trials, the fears, the stresses, the pain
and the casualties of all sorts that were now current events
in our lives.
But the
budget cuts would make this already very difficult and demanding
situation even worse as what was left of the quality of life
programs were being sacrificed in order to save money for
the operational demands.
At a time
like no other since Korea where spouses and families needed
dedicated support, the system had broken down and morale was
very low.
Members
were continuously over tasked as force reductions continued.
From UN tours of 6 months or more, to formal career courses,
to exercises and to over taskings, all compounded to literally
take away the military member from the family for nearly a
year at a time. Short intense periods of time together became
very difficult as no one in the family could adjust fast enough
to adapt to the new situations and so many families faltered
and were destroyed under the relentless pressures of never
ending cycles of risky deployments and no time at home.
Although
the situation became much better near the end at the 90’s
so much damage had been done and so many good people had been
lost.
Over the
last few years, the deployments have been reduced slightly
but the risks still remain high. The quality of life programs
have matured and are now second to none with family support
centers, internet, much better pay and benefits, a functional
medical system back on line with clinics for the injured,
particularly the operational stress ones including PTSD, a
revamped veteran’s charter that is very family oriented,
and a Canadian population far more aware of the cost of modern
peacekeeping and very supportive.
The postings
have been reduced and one can find longer term employment
and stability in the identified big bases and garrisons across
the country. That factor alone counts for so much in making
all the sacrifices fall into place as part of the life of
being a military member spouse. |
